Happy Valentines Day

I've never been a real big fan of Valentines day.  I'm not sure why.  But this year with Rowyn in preshool they had a party and that seemed to get me a little more involved with this holiday.  Of course we did the "wrap the box so we can decorate it at school".  Rowyn picked out some cute little Barbie cards for her friends (although I have to be honest, I did try to sway her towards some others that I liked).

Back when I was a kid (which I would like to think was not that long ago) we mostly just put cards into these boxes.  Occasionally you would get a piece of candy attached or a sticker.  But more times than not, just a card.  Well when I took her to school with her plain wrapped box for decorating day I kind of gasped inside.  "Oh no, Rowyn's box was the smallest."  Was there a certain size that I didn't read about on the take home sheet?  We used a shoe box.  Granted it was her shoes but still.  One little boy's box was so big I wondered what kind of box that was.  No ones feet are THAT big.

Not wanting to make her feel self concience, I didn't say anything to Rowyn.  When I picked her up I did ask her about her day and she did say that there was all different sizes.  But nothing about how small her box was.  Only about how big that little boy's box was.  Phew.  Then came Friday party day.  When I picked her up from school one of the first things she said to me was, "Mom, I just got a lot of sugar!"  I thought yeah I know.  We brought the frosting for the cookies they were to decorate.  I knew she would have some candy.  But as she went through her box of valentines I thought, "ugh...I didn't put anything with them!"  Some had little games, some tattoos, some candy, one was a very cute hand made flower with a sucker as the center.  Now, I like to think I can be a pretty creative, fun mom.  I didn't even think about it.

So as I am feeling disappointed in myself for not being a cool mom, Rowyn is in the back seat explaining to Reese, "Reesey, after we eat our lunch I can share with you if you want, but we have to eat our lunch first." 

Now why was I so disappointed in my mothering again?

Papa came over Saturday night for dinner and brought valentines for the girls.  Hedge hogs and a BIG bag of as Reese calls them...himm-uh-himms.  The girls named the hedge hogs Troy and Gabriella.  (From High School Musical).

The girls made Barbie valentines for Papa and Reese picked out a yummy box of pecan chocolates for him.

Reese got Rowyn a shirt with sparkles on the top and pink of course.  Rowyn got Reese some barretts, himm-uh-himms and a locket necklace.  When she saw the necklace she said, "Oh Momma, we can put a picture of you getting married in here."  How she new to put a picture in there I have no idea.  They both talk about our wedding and us getting married alot.

Reese got Daddy a bag of peanut himm-uh-himms.

Rowyn got Daddy a cute shirt.

Reese got herself comfortable and enjoyed those himm-uh-himms.

Cheeri-O's...I love you!

As the hamster wheel turns

I must put too many things on my lists.  Lately it seems I can never quite accomplish all of the tasks at hand.  (Which equals failure).  For some reason my house is slowly but surely getting more and more unorganized and "unfinished".  How did this happen?  I mean, yeah, it happens to other people.  Well, because they're not ME.  I AM organized, I AM a cleaner, I have it pulled together.  What is happening?

Maybe my kids are getting bigger and the hamster wheel keeps adding rungs to it.  Maybe I am getting burned out.  Sometimes I feel like I get lost in the shuffle of it all.  The laundry (which I had completely done on Tuesday and today you can barely walk in the door), the mini projects of refinishing furniture, painting bedrooms, making the budgets (x 2, business and personal), paying bills, groceries...blah, blah, blah.

Does it really matter if my kitchen is cleaned after each meal?  Because we eat about 5 sometimes 6 times a day in our house and it gets old.  But I can't seem to do other things until it is cleaned.  I have told my girls to pick something else to wear because I JUST WASHED THAT.  Don't even get me started on my yard and gardens.  For some reason the past few months the things that used to be smaller are very magnified.  Almost so magnified they are claustrophobic.  When I might miss a work out because I don't want to get up at 5 am because I went to bed at 1 am and was woken up 3 times during those four hours I feel like such a failure.  When did I get so hard on myself?  Is my "funness" deteriorating?

Don't get me wrong, I can still be fun.  Wearing underwear on my head being "Queen of the Laundry" is my girls latest favorite.  But that is kid fun.  Yet it seems that the more things that get undone or piled for another day that never comes, the more I seem to go into paralysis.  And it might not even be things that others can see.  But it's the things that I know about.  That dumb "junk drawer" by the back door in the kitchen.  I hate junk drawers.  No purpose but to waste your time riffling through a bunch of garbage that you don't hardly use anyway.  Makes my ribs hurt.  No really, they physically hurt knowing that upstairs waiting for me is not a quiet serene oasis of a master sweet.  But a room with one dresser that we share because my other dresser is out in the garage awaiting a sanding and painting.  Which means a side basket...or pile or two of clothes that have no home.  Plus the rocking chair with our extra sheets and blankets stacked on them because well, we have no closests in our house.  But I do have another dresser that will be very cute at the end of the top of the stairs to hold those sheets and blankets.  But it too is in the garage waiting a sanding and a painting.

I am tired of these things that are like little flys buzzing around my head nipping at me.  It's exhausting.

Lazy

Laziness has got the best of me.  We tend to build up pictures on our sd cards until there are thousands on there before we download them to our computer.  Well, this last Wednesday night, by some freak chance I had left our camera and video camera in the car.  Rowyn had a special day at school and I had taken video of it and pictures.  For some reason (I kick myself now) I left it in the car.  Well that night someone got into our car and took them.

I don't care about the camera's.  The upseting part is the loss of the pictures and video's.  There were two full video's in there.  The girls at dance classes, sweet things they say, singing and dancing at home, playing in the summer sun, coming down there stairs christmas morning, Rowyn's first christmas recital, etc...  The sd card was close to full.  From November on.  So our trip to New Mexico, all the fun things we did for the holidays while Ben was gone for those few weeks of working, Christmas, Rowyn's first bird feeder, and Reese's third birthday.

I have tried to tell myself there is nothing I can do about it now, but it still makes me cry.  I can't get those memories back and they were obviously important to me to record them some how.  Our girls are growing so fast.  I tend to take a lot of pictures because of that.  I don't want to forget.  So now I will work on a new habit.  Downloading and backing up my pictures and videos!  (And not leaving important things in the car).

The Princess and the Ball

We got a flyer one day at one of Rowyn's school concerts about a Father daughter Ball.  Well, my girls saw it and they were hooked.  "Pwincesses will be thewe."  "That's right Reese, you will be so beautiful just like a princess."

The girls talked about it for weeks.  "When is that ball with Daddy?"  "Are we going tonight?"  "Can we go get a dress?"  "Oh Momma I need to get new shoes."

Luckily, me being the preparer that I am, I had already bought dresses for Easter (yeah I know).  That night we got the girls all cleaned up and I even let them put a little makeup on.  Something about wearing mom's lipstick that as a little girl makes you feel so special.

I come into the office to get the camera's to take pictures of my two little princesses.  UGH.  Did someone just punch me in the stomach?  Oh no, that was just the realization that I had left them in the car after Rowyn getting her Fruit of the Spirit award at school and that night someone had stolen them.  Ok, enough with that, I already wrote about that.

But thankfully Ben has a camera he uses for work.  So thank God we got to record this special day!

So excited to go!

My little party animal is out.

Rowyn didn't want to dance.  She did take pictures of Reese and Ben dancing.  But they are kinda blurry.  They had a lot of fun and are very excited for the next one!